by Ebby Watkins
When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.
Luke 2:48-51
Today is the feast of Saint Joseph, a man who became a father rather unconventionally. As someone who also recently became a father in a less-traditional way (by coming out as a trans man) I feel a great affinity with him.
The Gospel passage for today is, not surprisingly, a story from the adventures of parenting. But it’s not an exclusive tale. Everyone, parent or not, knows the feeling of turning to a loved one in hurt and astonishment to ask, “Why have you treated me like this?”
What jumps out at me is that Jesus doesn’t apologize. He says, in essence, I wasn’t even thinking about you; I had a good reason for what I did. Nor do Mary and Joseph apologize for their reaction, even after Jesus’ explanation. Nevertheless, the text goes on to describe a family that grows in love and esteem for each other: somehow, they have found a way to respect each other’s positions and repair their relationship.
In our own lives, I wonder how often we perceive someone else’s frustration with our behavior as insistence we “choose” between our actions and the relationship. Or how often we’re blindsided by hurt from someone’s actions and assume they must be doing it “on purpose.”
To be clear, I’m not saying that abuse and manipulation are merely a matter of perspective, or that all behaviors by a loved one should be forgiven or even tolerated. Family life is complicated. Even in our church family. Even in the Holy Family.
I don’t think today’s Gospel is one of those Bible passages that can give clear “do this, not that” guidance. But perhaps when our relationships get complicated, we can pray to make our decisions with the conviction and love of Saint Joseph, the unconventional yet steadfast father.
Short’s Aster – Symphyotrichum shortii
These photographs, shared each day during Lent, capture the beauty of plants native to the Upper Midwest. As we spend time in Lenten reflection, these images of new life can remind us daily of our calling to be caretakers of God’s Creation.
Photo by Jo Anna Hebberger
