By Ellie Watkins
Every time we meet someone new, we give them information on how we’d like to be seen and addressed. We tell them if we have a nickname that we prefer. We tell them if we are a Dr. or a Miss or a Ms. We might encourage them to be less formal and call us by our first name. We’re revealing to this new acquaintance a part of who we are, and we want them to truly see that part and respect it.
Another part of the introduction process that’s becoming more common is to tell the other person your name and your pronouns. For example, I’d say, “My name is Ellie, and my pronouns are she/her.” Jered Weber-Johnson’s pronouns are he/him; he cooks great eggplant. Margaret Thor’s pronouns are she/her; her leadership is invaluable. Some people identify as they/them. (Grammarians may bristle at using a plural pronoun to refer to a single person, but we already do that with the word “you” and we still understand each other!)
Why is this something that we, as Christians in community, benefit from integrating into our own lives? Sharing pronouns is a way for transgender and gender-nonconforming people to ask: Do you accept me? Do you see me? What can I expect from you going forward? Using their correct pronouns tells them that we want to know their true selves, not something constructed for someone else’s comfort. For people whose gender identity matches the one they grew up with, sharing pronouns is a way to normalize that part of introductions so that everyone feels comfortable doing it. It can also help prevent someone with a name common to men and women (like Jess or Dale) or a less familiar name (like Wei or Elif) from having their gender misidentified.
Beginning on Gathering Sunday, we’ll have stickers available for you to put on your nametag so that people can notice your name and your gender identity.
In this way, we can truly see and welcome each other with God’s love.
If you have any questions, please feel free to speak to Ellie Watkins in the office, or any of the clergy.
Originally published in the September/October 2019 Evangelist.
